The Heartaches Of Horse Ownership
The hardest decision I think you’ll ever make as a horse owner is choosing the right time to let go.
Sometimes horses get sick or old or injured and go on their own. But other times, we have to make the responsible, kind decision to euthanize. But how do you know when the time is right?
I grew up in a barn that averaged around 35 horses, and we lost quite a few for different reasons over the years. When I was 10, my mom bought the first horse she’d had in my lifetime just to have to put him down when he severely colicked six months later. I’ve treated injuries, watched breeding, and walked sedated horses until they went down to undergo a procedure. But today was the first time I’ve been with a horse at the end.
Some people don’t want to witness that event, but I wanted to be there for Classic – so she would have a familiar face – and for her owners – for support.
It was time for Classic. She knew it and we knew it. And everything was very peaceful. For the first time in a long time, she’s comfortable and at rest. It was planned ahead of time, so I was able to put my thoughts together ahead of time and write a tribute to Classic for my Ace’s blog. Please stop over there and read about this wonderful horse.
As a new horse owner myself, I’d like to think that Ace will live forever – especially in light of today’s events. But especially because of today, I know he won’t. And it helps to be prepared at least a little bit for how I would handle it if that day comes. Things you need to consider:
- what vet will you have out?
- where will you bury your horse and how will you make that happen? You may not be allowed to bury him or her on your property.
- do you want to be with your horse at the end? No vet will force you to be, but they’ll allow you if you want. Keep in mind that while many times it’s a peaceful process, sometimes horses will fight it and struggle. Can you handle it if that happens? What will provide the best closure for you?
- take pictures and videos of your horse throughout it’s life. You’ll be glad to have those down the road.
- write down special moments or things you want to remember about your horse.
- look into ways you can commemorate your horse, like having horse-hair jewelry made or getting a portrait painting or custom blanket or throw.
- if something would happen to your horse while you are out of town, who do you trust to make the judgements in your absence?
- Horses grieve too, and it’s important to let close buddies see the body so they know what is going on. Does your horse have a special friend or pasture buddies who need a chance to say goodbye?
Planning all of this ahead of time will make it a lot easier for you when that unfortunate day comes, whether it’s expected or unexpected.
Do you have any other recommendations or ideas to add to this? Please leave a comment and share.
Great post Jackie, with some excellent suggestions.
Please pass along our condolences to Classics herd mates and owners.
I lost my Jack three years ago now, and I miss him still everyday. One thing I wish I had thought to do? Take some tail hair, so that I could have had something made from it. I suspect there will always be a hole in my heart from him, but over time the pain is easing some. Sonny Horse helps… in some strange ways.
Only thing I could think to add, would be the option for cremation. Many places do not allow burial, and cremation might be an option for some.
Great post Jackie, especially when you are still greiving. Genny was relly close to the end last year. I still have saved an e-mail that I sent out to my friends in August of 2007 basically saying that Genny was a dead man walking and that he no longer could surivive his injuries and they should come and say good bye to him now. I am lucky that it was all for not becuase he ended up pulling through, but that e-mail still breaks my heart. I know that I want to be there in the end for Gennyral. Putting a standing horse down is just one of the worst things that a person can ever see, but I cannot leave my baby when he is scared. When we had that little scare this summer I called my vet and even though he was a few hours away he made it clear that he and Gen have a history and that he cares about my guy and he wants to be the one, not some vet my horse doesnt like. When I leave not only do I leave a note at the barn with my emergency contacts but also who call if I can not be reached (my trainer if it is an emergency where they think that call might be made). I also leave in writting that my trainer has my permission to make care decisions and that if she cannot be reached I trust the barn owner to use her best judgement. In writting there is also directives such as if it if the tendon and he is in pain don’t make him wait for me to come home. I have also talked to my vet about it over the years and he knows what my wishes are and who can make care decisions if I cannot be reached. Luckily I have never had to use that sheet, but I always have it just in case. And around here we are not allowed to bury our horses, they have to be cremated. My vet has the numbers of 2 local disposal services to call when that time comes…they only take cash though and I remeber that because with Gen I had the cash in an envelope in my trunk for when the time came. Man I am so glad my horse pulled through everything. I hope you, Tracie, and Dave are doing okay today. My thoughts are with you.
Thanks MrsMom and OntheBit for sharing your stories. It’s so helpful to be able to share this with other people who know what it feels like to lose one. And thanks for those good suggestions. I’ve always lived in farm country where we can bury animals, so I tend to forget about cremation as an option. Burying a horse isn’t always the most dignified process, so cremation could be a good option for many for that reason too.
Jackie – I don’t know if cremation is any more dignified. Of the two disposal services in my area both have what we call “pancake flipper trucks” which are great and they have a thing that just slides under the horse, but both also have the old fashioned chain their legs trucks too. The worse story I ever heard was from a long time hunter/jumper who had just put down her believed champion horse (about 20 years ago) and with the rest of the barn in tow they all went to the liquor store to get some liquid courage. Well they pulled up and wouldn’t you know that the only car in the parking lot besides theirs was that of the disposal service and the truck back was partially open so she could see her beloved horses body in the back in a not very natural position. She is still traumatized from that. I think giving Classic a grave that Tracie can go visit sounds like a really good thing. I hope you all are doing okay today.
this one hit home, since we had to bury a foal last year… i still remember the “sounds of silence” from our other horses who just “knew”… thanx for the post
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It’s taken me a while to comment on this. I’m so sorry for your loss. The pony ride/lesson barn where I help out recently lost an old sweet pony. He was 28 and had foundered a while ago, so he wore some supportive shoes. And he needed a buddy to take him for walks. Which I did a few times.
I tried not to get attached. But they can slip under your radar. I knew he was old and sick, even though you’d never guess his age, except for a frosting of gray on his face. He still had nice sleek muscling.
He went for his “final ride” the day before I last went to the barn. I helped his owner clean out his stall. I kept it together with my emotions detached. His owner and her children seemed to have worked through it, so I didn’t want any upset of mine to send them down the weepy path.
Ya know, I’m one of the first to talk tough and say that loving horses isn’t for the faint of heart. But it still gets me.
Hi Jackie!
This is my very first visit to your blog. I must admit I am very impressed by the depth of it’s content. Congratulations.
This post is very touching, I am so sorry for your loss… And if it can be of any help at all, in times of sorrow, I often think back to what HRH Queen Elizabeth said upon the death of her dear mother. I am not a fan or anything, but what she said on that day really resonated within me: she simply said that “Grief is the price we pay for love”.
Thank you for sharing this.
Thanks for a tough post. This hardest part of owing horses truly is knowing when to let go. Sometimes it’s really obvious and that makes it easier somehow….other times it’s not so obvious and those are harder.
I will always wonder whether I did the right thing with a foal…….although I doubt there is anyone who would say I could have done it differently. Still I have this “hope” somewhere that maybe he could have beat the odds and I didn’t give him the chance.
I have visions of the pony who wouldn’t quit even though there was no way he could live…….and visions of the other pony who quit when she could have lived if she fought.
Then there is the image of my mare laying dead in the field where she fell with her son standing beside her trying to urge her to get up. All of these memories are somewhere near the surface and rise with little if any warning. There is nothing easy about saying goodbye to a beloved friend. Being prepared in case that day should come is probably the best advice one can give….or get.