What Does He Think About Your Horse Habit?
I am extremely to fortunate to have grown up with a non-horsey horse dad and now live with a non-horsey horse husband who both have supported my horse habit. I don’t know that they completely understand it, but they have at least managed to live with it.
Horse are a huge commitment. They’re expensive. They take a lot of time. And they also have a huge chunk of our hearts.
Our guys handle our horse passions in many different ways. Unfortunately, there are some who completely resent it; the time, money, and emotional investment put into an animal instead of him. Others are like my dad and my husband, and they support it while leaving me mostly to my own devices. Others still are either horse-men themselves, or learn to be. I’ve known some of all sorts.
My husband knew all about my horse habit when we were dating. I wasn’t as actively involved then, but he was aware it could happen.
A few months ago, I was re-organizing our book shelves. I happened to come across a “Preparing for Marriage” book filled with questions we had to answer and then go over with each other for a pre-marital counseling class at church. I promptly chucked it onto the “pitch” pile. A few minutes later, Ben walked into the room and started picking up books. He came across the marriage prep book, opened it, and started reading it. There was some pretty funny stuff in there, like my belief that we would keep the kitchen clean every day (ha!).
Then he got to a part about our hobbies. There was a question about what things we enjoyed to do separately, and how much time we would spend doing those activities. My answer? “Horses! 4-5 days a week.”
I wrote that down over four years ago, and it’s exactly what I’m doing now that I’ve got a horse. Ben can never say that I didn’t warn him.
The trick is to make sure I still take care of my hubby and spend time with him. I still cook dinner, make lunches, and get a few hours at home every night. I go to his band concerts and to watch his wrestling team at matches. Half the time, he kicks me out of the house to go ride my horse if I’m whining and feeling lazy. And every once in a while there are days when he just doesn’t want to be ditched, so I’ll forgo my horsey plans and stay home with him. (And he doesn’t begrudge me the money that goes into my horse because it gives him an excuse to buy the electronic toys he wants.)
It’s a good system for us. And I’m so glad that he supports my passion.
My hubby will never be a horse-man. He’s actually pretty good with the horses, and has ridden very well the few times I’ve gotten him into a saddle. He picks poo like a pro and can haul around water buckets and toss hay bales.
He also has an eye for Arabians and proper jumping position. I used to think he only like Arabs because he liked the Black Stallion books. But if I give him a line-up of 10 different horses of 10 different breeds, he will pick the Arab out every time and say it’s his favorite.
He could also give George Morris a run for his money in critiquing photos of jumping position. My hubby can look at a picture and tell me everything that’s wrong with a rider’s position and why … and he’s completely right. He doesn’t know anything about jumping horses, but he ran hurdles in track which informs his ideas. It’s pretty impressive stuff.
My dad never got into horses himself, but he drove the trailer, took pictures at shows, and brush-hogged the fields at our barn in exchange for using the truck and trailer. He’d stand beside the fence and inform us (my sisters and I) when we were on the incorrect diagonal or lead. Typically, my mom, sisters, and I would head to the barn and he’d hit up the golf course. It worked beautifully.
Horse Husbands, A Twelve Step Program
Last Friday’s episode of the Stable Scoop was all about horse husbands. Glenn kicked Helena off the show for the week and brought in several men to sit around and talk about how they felt about their wives’ and daughter’s horse habits. It’s some pretty funny stuff.
Stable Scoop Episode 27 – Horse Husbands, A Twelve Step Program:
- Thank you to all the horse husbands who risked divorce by being on this show. Here is the line up:
- Glenn the Geek, host of the Stable Scoop Radio Show and horse husband of over 20 years.
- Jeff Wells, veternarian and author of A Veterinarian’s Handbook For Horse Husbands which can be found at equinehusbands.com.
- John McGraw, co-founder of Equestrian Life and horse husband and father.
- Professional Horse Husband Greg Tryon tell us what it is like to be married to an Olympic level eventer. Check out their website at teamtryon.com.
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So what’s it like for you? How does your horse husband/boyfriend/significant other handle your horse habit? Is there anything you do to ensure you can do your thing and keep him happy? What funny habits has he picked up on? What horse skills has he managed to learn?
My husband likes horses. He actually got me back into horses nearly 20 years ago by literally putting the ‘cart before the horse’ when I woke up Christmas morning and found a wonderful Syd Hill-made Australian stock saddle. I had no horse, but by golly I now had a saddle. Within 45 days, I had a horse. Fast forward 20 years, and quite a few horses later. At this stage, hubby would be just as happy to look out the window and no longer see any horses at all. While he won’t admit it, I think the death of our favorite horse a year ago affected him just as much as it affected me and our desire to be around them has diminished extensively. While losing the one, we still had two more, one of which is. Last summer he started going out less and less to visit ‘his’ horse and now he won’t go out there at all. Very sad indeed. I am now the primary care taker, and in fact I took in two very old former commercial carriage horses to allow them to retire with a little dignity and in a safe and caring environment. I will never lose my love of horses; it just got a little derailed this past year in the grief of losing my best horse-friend ever. I hope hubby will eventually come back around, too.
3 years ago, when my boyfriend and I met, I didn’t own any horses at the time. Shortly there after, I bought my first horse on my own(without my parents assistance) My boyfriend was interested so he started leasing a warmblood at our boarding barn. Shortly there after, we were given a “free” horse that became his. After it threw him twice in 2 days, he quit riding him. We sold that one and he fell in love with a beautiful TWH at our next boarding barn. He bought her and she is still with us (Twiggs on my blog). He absolutely loves horses and riding now. He’s constantly researching horse care, breeding, training, etc. He helps me 50/50 with barn chores and shares the same dream of owning a horse farm one day. I feel extremely lucky to be with someone who loves horses just as much as I do! We were talking the other day about his decision to come to Alabama for law school (when we met) and what he’d be doing if he had chosen another school. He said…”Well, I definitely wouldn’t care about horses or even think about owning one!” I told him “once you go horse, you’ll never go back!”
My husband likes horses well enough but he’s just not that into them. He thinks they’re pretty and will feed a carrot once in a while or pet one on the nose. That’s it. He prefers to play golf. To be fair he never complains about all the time we spend with the horses. He seldom complains about the money spent and if it weren’t for him we wouldn’t have a horse farm. The one thing I can say is he doesn’t like to see any animal mistreated and was behind us the whole way in our rescues in the past and present. He’s a pretty good guy all around.
I’m so glad you posted this, because it reminded me that I’ve been meaning to do a post about my husband and his role with horses. He’s been complaining that I include our son in my blog, but not him. Anyway, his birthday is coming up in a couple of days, so I’ll give him the tribute then.
My husband isn’t horsey, either. I had given it all up for years and have dabbled my way around. He does watch the Derby with me (after all, we met in Kentucky.) And he can spot an Arabian now, since I took him to the Arabian Nights show in Florida. And he’s hooked on the Animal Planet Jockeys show, too.
When we got married I had no idea of owning a horse again. We were active duty military and could not afford one. Then my daughter had a seizure due to a vaccine varivax. Normal physical therapy did not help. Our neurologist suggested hippo therapy and we purchased our first horse. My daughter is walking again and enjoys riding in our pasture and occasional shows. My husband hates coming home and helping with the horses after working a ten hour day. He digs the stalls and mulchs the manure. Do not know what to do for i have to work full time now to make ends meet.
When me & my boy friend got togather he knew i loved horses but i never owned one. At first he was like No way i hate horses they scare me but he knew i love them & he actually bought me my first horse.He had no clue about horses & he bought me a foal lol. so of course i had to do all the training & get the horse gelded but when we got my horse comanche he fell in love & Since the very first day i got comanche my boyfriend has helped me take care of him cleaning poop brushing fixing the fence ect… & he now enjoys riding & before he was scared of horses. hes not really into them like me but he enjoys them mainly the horse he bought me. he Loves draft horses idk what draws him to them but Shire & clydesdales are his favorite he always remember the name of the breed.
He has mainly picked up the basic care of horses & he can name almost every color.& all the types of basic gaits.