The Top 5 Things I’ve Learned About Balancing Motherhood and Horses
My baby was 5 months old last weekend. He plays and naps while I work full-time, sometimes from home sometimes in my office. My house is a mess, the dishes aren’t done, there’s laundry waiting to be folded (at least it’s clean, right?). I haven’t seen my horse in a week and a half.
I’ve learned that there is no such thing as balancing motherhood, work, and horses. Something always wins out, and something always has to give.
I had great expectations of everything I would still be able to do after becoming a mother last spring. Now I’m laughing in my own face. Here are the top 5 things I’ve learned about what life is really like as a mother of both two-legged and four-legged children.
#1: Riding Once a Week is an Accomplishment
I was so proud of myself when I was back in the saddle 3 weeks after giving birth. I had 3 months of maternity leave, and as I started to adjust to my new life as a mother, I started to ride more. I thought I would be able to ride 2-3 days a week on a regular basis.
Then I went back to work. I’m lucky if I can get a shower and re-heat left overs for dinner between my full-time job and my more-than-full-time baby. The hubby and I are constantly juggling schedules so that one of us is always home with Isaac. This means I’m rarely able to escape to the barn and go for a ride. If I’m not traveling on the weekends to visit family, go to weddings, whatever – I can usually get in a Saturday morning ride.
#2: Pregnancy Destroys Every Riding Muscle You’ve Ever Had
I have never been this out of riding shape in my entire life – even during college when I was out of the saddle for months at a time. Everything is stiff and sore for days after an easy 30 minute ride. Riding one day a week (see above) is not enough to return my abs and inner thighs to their former glory.
This one isn’t so much a surprise (duh pregnancy totally killed any core strength I had) as it is a constant reminder of the craziness my body has endured in the last year.
This may not be the case if you kept riding during pregnancy, but I stopped when I hit the 12th week of pregnancy because I wasn’t comfortable with the risk.
#3: Picking Hooves is More Exciting Than Tying Your Own Shoes
The fact that I can once again bend over comfortably to pick Ace’s hooves still excites me 5 months post partum. Who cares about being able to see my own feet?
#4: Babywearing Around the Barn is Good Exercise
I thought riding my horse would be how I would get myself back into shape after pregnancy and birth. Nope. Strapping my 4-month old to my chest and hauling him around a pasture in the great missing halter search is apparently a much better workout (Ace was missing both halters and his fly mask).
#5: My Horse Will Actually Survive Without Me
He may be a little dirty. His topline may be lacking any semblance of muscling. He may be developing a grass belly (round is a shape!).
And he might actually be enjoying his newfound life of leisure.
While I may not be out 5-6 days a week like I used to be, that board check still goes out every month. The trimmer comes regularly, and the vet comes as needed. The crew at the barn keeps an eye on him, and he suckers treats out of every passerby. He is fed, watered, his stall is cleaned, and he is turned out regularly. His former leasee (who now has her own horse) stops in and picks out his feet for me.
In other words, he’s doing perfectly fine without me.
The real question is, how am I doing with my extremely limited barn time?
I’m OK. I get a little stir crazy, and my legs are always itching to get in the saddle (although bareback is better because it’s so much faster!). My baby won’t be a baby for long, and I’m soaking up every single moment that I can possibly get with him. My horse will still be there in a few years when my babies go off to school or to hang with friends or are tied up in sports or rehearsals and I’m sitting home alone wondering how my kids grew up so darn fast.
I hear that Jackie! With three kids (the youngest now two), and having recently picked up a part time job, I am scheduled to within an inch of my life LOL! I ride about 4x a week, but it’s what I call “precision timing” riding – no leisurely hacks here. Oh no, we groom, we tack, we warm up, we push hard, we cool and I am ALWAYS running to my car to get home for to relieve the sitter on time.
Friends help me with tacking and cooling when I need it, so that’s another great help. As much as I love doing all of those things myself, there are rare occasions when I cannot due to my time constraints. I also do all my housework late at night and grocery shop sometimes at 5 am. I sacrifice sleep to accommodate the ride time, but it is so, so worth it! Take care and glad to hear you’re getting some saddle time!
Jackie – You are an awesome mommy to both Ace and Isaac! I love you and am so proud to call you my big sis. Love the blog =)
I know exactly what you mean. I have 2 active little boys, age 3 and nearly 5, plus I teach highschool, and run a hobby farm, with many 4-footed critters depending on me to get them fed on time. Scehdules are pretty tight – I find I’m lucky to get in the saddle once a week! But I love my ground time with my horses too – lots of bonding to be done over a flake of hay, a bucket of grain, a walk frompaddock to barn…. it probably feels like forever, but your’e rght – eventually the wee one will be old enough to be independent and you will find more time to take care of your current riding time deficit! All the best with your new family and finding those extra few moments with your horse.
…Don’t think I didn’t notice the plural in that final graph…
Good post!
I spotted that plural, too.
One thing that’s helped me return to riding has been stretching afterward. I don’t do a whole buncha stretches (no time), but something like the yoga Warrior II pose with my leg up on a step or fence rail. Anything to stretch the groin and twist the body to stretch out those pesky inner thigh muscles that can ache and alter your own gait for days. I count to 30 on each side. Knock on wood, I haven’t been saddle sore yet ever since I began stretching afterward. Also, people at the barn laugh at me for taking a hot shower before going to the barn, but it loosens my lower back. Anyway, enjoy all these crazy moments, even the mad merry-go-round of your new life. Congratulations!
great tips about horse riding.. I think people who are new to riding a horse, they can learn a lot from this post.
I think you are doing great! Just the fact that you can get out there once a week is impressive to me!
I couldn’t have done it. It would have been too much when my son was little. I could not have handled the pressure to spend time with the horse, when so much of my time was spent with my son. It will get easier as he gets older, but it will be years before he is independent enough that it won’t still be a trade off. I applaud your tenacity.
In fact, I’m struggling with balancing time between my 7th grader and my horse. My wife is completely neglected. I’d like to think it is because the horse is new to me, but I’m afraid this will still be an issue two years from now.
Luckily for me, my wife and son geocache while I ride. We start at the barn and meet back at the barn. They love riding their bikes all over the rural streets looking for geocaches and I love being able to ride guilt free.
Kiss your boy and good luck finding time to ride.
I’m a mom of 3 boys (9, 7 and 4) and am just now chomping at the bit (no pun intended) to be re-acquainted with the equestrian world. My 9 yro and I will be taking English/Hunting lessons together and learning together from the ground up. I’ve grown up with horses, raised 2 but it’s been almost 15+ years that I’ve been away.
I feel this is another way to bond with my son who is crazy active in sports, teach him what Mom knows, and also be humble enough to learn all over again; and to replenish the soul – as you all know how amazing it is to even spend ground time together with your 4-legged lovelies.
This post was great for me to read. I need to approach this slowly, not push myself with my schedule and reap the rewards no matter how little time we have. Thanks!
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Great job Teri. I have a 6 months old baby and hardly find any time for myself. He is very naughty and as he is crawling now, its even more difficult for me. I stopped riding when I was carrying as you have mentioned in this blog and havent been able to since then. I think I am still unable to adjust my timings. Hope I can ride again in the near future.
Really thanks for your great job Teri, this is amazing, I was reading your blog and website for many time and everyday is time to learn here.
Thanks very much
I think my horse Frisby would love me to leave him alone HAHA! And I remember the “baby wearing days”
What a cool website…thanks.
Lisa
http://www.horsetraininghq.com